Counting the blessings.

Oh, we've been so blessed with gorgeous autumn this year.  I have been living here almost 8 years, and can say that usually we had to drive to New Hampshire to see the trees changing their colors. Here in Massachusetts after summer comes the "winter" months with its greyness, darkness and wetness. It kinda reminds me of my home. In Russia where I lived, people always joked that we have 5 months of winter, and maybe that's the reason why  New England feels like home to me:) But this fall we did so many fun things- we went pumpkin picking, apple picking, we jumped in the puddles, and in a leaf piles, visited corn maze I tried apple cider donut for the first time in my life:) I know, it sounds crazy- I've been living in US for so long and never tried it:)  Everything changed, now when I have a child, I want to start our family traditions, I want to create special memories, focus on what is really important in life. Also last fall I lost two of my friends. My childhood friend Ania, who was about to turn 30, and my dearest childhood friend and classmate Andrei. Both of them lost their lives in a tragic accidents, and it is still hard to believe that they are gone.I still didn't get over it.I am having hard time trying to accept this and  not to question my faith, not to fear this unfair life. But on the other hand I think this tragic events also changed me in a good way. Now I follow my promises, I work on my bucket lists, I make things today instead of tomorrow. I really believe that happy life is made of small things, ordinary days. Sometimes I get carried away- I think about the future too much, I drive myself crazy with what-ifs, and whys,but I still do not know the answers and I still feel lost most of the time. So these days I learning to let go, to surrender. I want to focus on today's blessings and just pray that tomorrow comes.